Post by Steve M on Feb 9, 2005 17:03:42 GMT 12.75
> Subject: Obituary for Mr. Sense
>
> Obituary for Mr. Sense
> Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
> Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
> he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
> tape.
>
> He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
> knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
> worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple,
> sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable
> parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
>
> His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
> overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old
> boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
> suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
> fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
>
> Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
> parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not
> inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
> abortion.
>
> Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
> became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received
> better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the
> ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was
> hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
>
> Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
> wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
> is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many
> attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.