Post by OLKoot on Jun 8, 2010 3:18:59 GMT 12.75
THE MAN TEST
>
> 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a
> queer.
> It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
> spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
> Oprah diet....Faggot.
>
> 2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer--
> it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
> touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just
> think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your
> ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat....'Bun-bun,
> come to daddy, snookums!' Yep, you're queer.
>
> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
> nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
> BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pig's feet, or
> tits.
> Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
>
> 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
> parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
> his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
>
> 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as
> Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy
> Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man
> there too.
>
> 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four
> different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might
> as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory
> space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
> chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other
> than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.
>
> 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
> tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
> a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he
> needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold
> his beer.
>
> 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
> because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely
> on the verge of being a salami smuggler.
>
>
> 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a
> queer.
> It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
> spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
> Oprah diet....Faggot.
>
> 2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer--
> it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
> touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just
> think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your
> ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat....'Bun-bun,
> come to daddy, snookums!' Yep, you're queer.
>
> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
> nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
> BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pig's feet, or
> tits.
> Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
>
> 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
> parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
> his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
>
> 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as
> Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy
> Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man
> there too.
>
> 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four
> different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might
> as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory
> space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
> chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other
> than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.
>
> 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
> tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
> a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he
> needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold
> his beer.
>
> 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
> because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely
> on the verge of being a salami smuggler.
>