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Post by geiyserq on Mar 23, 2007 3:05:03 GMT 12.75
Well paws, if Toby's gonna fall he just wants to have you down there with him.
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Post by Paws on Mar 23, 2007 4:25:54 GMT 12.75
I don't know man. I think old Satan would take one look at me and Toby grinnin' at each other and kick us both out!
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Post by geiyserq on Mar 23, 2007 4:51:52 GMT 12.75
lmao..........I wasnt talkin 'bout quite that big a fall Paws! I just meant the fall taken when one a dem dare females catches ya!
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Post by Two Tales on Mar 23, 2007 5:44:21 GMT 12.75
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Post by Paws on Mar 23, 2007 6:20:59 GMT 12.75
Well now boys I kinda think they at least in hell you might stand a chance of gittin back out! With a woman.... p.s. Them laigs look like they belong on a woodpecker! But hey at least you will still have them long after the woodpeckers start pokin holes in my piss elm replacements.
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Post by Paws on Apr 18, 2007 1:54:19 GMT 12.75
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Post by Buckeye on Apr 18, 2007 4:52:40 GMT 12.75
Gee! I got them all right. I did make a good guess on the heptagon one though!
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Post by Paws on May 23, 2007 22:26:09 GMT 12.75
Way cool! Right now we have guests on from Buenos Aires, Finland, a University in Thailand, Poland. New Delhi, China, Red Lion Square London England, and Australia!
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Post by Toby Benoit on May 24, 2007 12:03:36 GMT 12.75
How are we attracting all of this international attention? That's really cool! I wish some would join the forum so we can ask, "what da hell ya'll eatin in B. F. Egypt"? I reckon we need to class up our banter on here a little too, huh? Maybe they don't understand all of the local color we bring to the forum. In fact, I was just gonna tell a joke about a feller getting his pecker caught in the toaster, but I doubt folks from China would understand it. So, I'll save it for later.
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Post by Paws on May 24, 2007 13:48:02 GMT 12.75
In Egypt a young man eats the same thing a young man in America eats; his dates!
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Post by Toby Benoit on May 24, 2007 14:32:50 GMT 12.75
;D ;D ;D
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Post by RogueWarrior1957 on May 24, 2007 16:37:44 GMT 12.75
In Egypt a young man eats the same thing a young man in America eats; his dates! Just remember to never get between a bear and his honey! ;D -Rogue-
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Post by geiyserq on May 25, 2007 2:44:32 GMT 12.75
yeah, but what if their dates are really the pits?
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Post by Paws on Jun 9, 2007 21:12:58 GMT 12.75
Tee hee! Hey, look what Foxworthy says: Forget Rednecks,, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Ohioans.......... If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May......... you may live in Ohio . If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there,.... you may live in Ohio . If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number,....... you may live in Ohio . If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,....... you may live in Ohio . If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,........you may live in Ohio . If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,.......... you may live in Ohio . If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked,......... you may live in Ohio . If you carry jumpers in your car, and your wife knows how to use them,........ you may live in Ohio . If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,........... you may live in Ohio . If the speed limit on the highway is 65 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you,...... you may live in Ohio . If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,........ you may live in Ohio . If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction,......... you may live in Ohio . If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,....... you may live in Ohio . If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly",......... you may live in Ohio . If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Ohio friends & others,... you definitely live in Ohio
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Post by Paws on Jun 20, 2007 13:22:43 GMT 12.75
Yep, today's Athen's Messenger on the front page carries the headline "Gun Totin' Mayor..." Cousin George Pallo, Mayor of Jacksonville, Ohio, ran to the aide of several kids being chased by a carload of smart asses. George ran the license plate and discovered it was not on the right vehicle and chased the car down while communicating with a 911 dispatcher to arange for police officers to intercept and back up. After chasing them through Jacksonville, Trimble, and Glouster to Hollister road on route 78 they pulled off the road where George ordered four occupants down at gunpoint. One of the teens had a 22 pistol that he had been brandishing and threatening the kids with. George held them at gunpoint until Highway Patrol officers arrived and arrested them . Way to go George.
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Post by Paws on Jun 28, 2007 2:58:33 GMT 12.75
From Bill Hurley: Subject: FW: "Be who you are - hope I can be there for you" A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked. The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered. "No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life." "Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?" "I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed." The next time someone needs you . Just be there. Stay. We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience. Please pass this one on and God will bless you! This is what we are put on this earth to do anyway. Right ?? Have a great day and bless someone else in some little way today !! God is soooooooooo good. "Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter....don't mind....And those that mind....don't matter." Not much of the "pass on" stuff that comes into my mail box is worth opening; but this one was worth not only opening but keeping.
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Post by Paws on Jul 13, 2007 23:36:21 GMT 12.75
Within the next 90 days: GW Bush's job performance rating will rise from 22 to more than 57 percent The Dow will break 15,000.00 Al Quaeda will experience almost total anhilation in an overwhelming surprise attack on the Pakistan/Afghanistan border where both Bin Laden and number two will be killed. Why say this I? Wellllllll, it seems to me like Al Quaeda is getting far too much public praise and respect. Our security guys sound like Chief Engineer Mr Scott from the original Star Trek shouting "t can't be done,Cap'n, I need more time, It's impossible!" all just before he does it making accomplishment of the event that much more significant. "Al Quaeda is as strong now as it was before 911." Now how do we know this and why would we make that information public? Annnnnnddd if we know this then what else must we know?
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Post by Mars on Jul 14, 2007 1:51:18 GMT 12.75
Because somebodies going to die, somebodies going to diiieee, somebodies going to dddiiieee.
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Post by Paws on Jul 14, 2007 4:49:01 GMT 12.75
Yes and El Heffe Bush needs a hug!
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Post by Toby Benoit on Jul 14, 2007 14:41:10 GMT 12.75
I'm expecting a huge push towards the New Year. The Republicans are going to be needing the public support going into the last months of campaigning in '08. After all o fthe cries for surrender by our commy Democraps, a big victory of sorts is all we need to get the public opinion soaring again. The GOP politicians know that much better than we do, so wait and see.
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