Post by Paws on Jan 22, 2007 2:40:34 GMT 12.75
From my Buddy Jim Grahm:
This is obviously from a Vietnam veteran.
>
>
> Being Drafted Over 65
>
>
> I'm over 65 and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
>terrorists. (You can't be older than 35 to join the military.)
>
> They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending
>18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be
>able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
>
>
>
> For starters:
>
> Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
>
> Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us
>more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
>
> Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
>soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy, we'll complain
>them into submission. "My back hurts! I'm hungry! Where's the remote?"
>
>
> An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet, and you shouldn't go
>to war until you're at least old enough to drink. The average old guy, on
>the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer, and a jaunt through
>the desert heat with a beer and an M-60 would do wonders for the old beer
>belly. (Note there are 24 hours in a day and 24 bottles in a case...another
>convenient way to measure time!)
>
>
> An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.
>
> Old guys always get up early to pee.
>
>
> If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
>we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial nmber wold be a real
>brainteaser.
>
>
> Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
>screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an
>appreciation for guns.
>
>
> We like them almost better than naps.
>
>
>
> They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
>combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
>side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can
>hear the Drill Sgt now, "Get down and give me ... ER .. One."
>
> Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've
>never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
>
>
> An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
>learning to shave, to carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without
>the top of his butt crack showing and his shorts sticking out. He's hasn't
>figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles or that a 400-watt
>speaker in the back seat of a Honda can rupture an eardrum or that a
>baseball cap has a brim to shade eyes, not the back of his head.
>
> These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a
>little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
>
>
>
> Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked
>us on September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is
>a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
>
>
> Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type
>so you can read it.
>
>
>
>
>
This is obviously from a Vietnam veteran.
>
>
> Being Drafted Over 65
>
>
> I'm over 65 and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
>terrorists. (You can't be older than 35 to join the military.)
>
> They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending
>18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be
>able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
>
>
>
> For starters:
>
> Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
>
> Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us
>more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
>
> Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
>soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy, we'll complain
>them into submission. "My back hurts! I'm hungry! Where's the remote?"
>
>
> An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet, and you shouldn't go
>to war until you're at least old enough to drink. The average old guy, on
>the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer, and a jaunt through
>the desert heat with a beer and an M-60 would do wonders for the old beer
>belly. (Note there are 24 hours in a day and 24 bottles in a case...another
>convenient way to measure time!)
>
>
> An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.
>
> Old guys always get up early to pee.
>
>
> If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
>we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial nmber wold be a real
>brainteaser.
>
>
> Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
>screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an
>appreciation for guns.
>
>
> We like them almost better than naps.
>
>
>
> They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
>combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
>side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can
>hear the Drill Sgt now, "Get down and give me ... ER .. One."
>
> Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've
>never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
>
>
> An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
>learning to shave, to carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without
>the top of his butt crack showing and his shorts sticking out. He's hasn't
>figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles or that a 400-watt
>speaker in the back seat of a Honda can rupture an eardrum or that a
>baseball cap has a brim to shade eyes, not the back of his head.
>
> These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a
>little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
>
>
>
> Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked
>us on September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is
>a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
>
>
> Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type
>so you can read it.
>
>
>
>
>