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Post by ET on Nov 1, 2007 13:18:55 GMT 12.75
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."
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Post by Bro. Freddie on Nov 7, 2007 12:01:40 GMT 12.75
A young guy from Arkansas moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?' The kid says 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Arkansas .'
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.' His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
'How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says 'one'.
The boss says 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day.
How much was the sale for?'
The kid says '$101,237.65'.
The boss says '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?'
The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'
The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'
The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing
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Post by ET on Nov 16, 2007 12:48:25 GMT 12.75
Former President Bill Clinton was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.
They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Bill if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".
So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'".
" No," said Bill, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Bill "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bill searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and Mrs Clinton was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bill. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f@#$%*g accident
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Post by Snake Eyes on Nov 16, 2007 23:34:58 GMT 12.75
;D ET, Good one! snake-eyes
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Post by gsoflittledove on Nov 26, 2007 4:02:14 GMT 12.75
Old people have problems Old people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?' The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open! ;D
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Post by Paws on Dec 5, 2007 0:41:07 GMT 12.75
Sweet little thing.
Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. And, "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
Thelma's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock?
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Thelma says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."
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Post by raingauge on Dec 9, 2007 7:48:56 GMT 12.75
A Fin and Feather Cop was driving down the road one day, and sees a very young Toby carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stops Toby and says: "Where did you get that turkey?" Toby says: What turkey?" The Fish cop says "THAT turkey!" pointing
Toby looks down, "Well looky there, a turkey has done roosted under my arm." "You know the season is over, young man, so, whatever you do to that turkey I'm gonna do to you. You break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg, you break his wing, I'm gonna break your arm. So whaddya gonna do>"
Young Toby says: "Well, I think I'll just kiss his butt and let him go." ;D
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Post by Paws on Dec 9, 2007 7:54:09 GMT 12.75
Just received this from The Jim Deacon. Yes he lives!! The following are all replies written by Detroit women on Child Support Agency Forms in the "Father's Details" section. They are copied verbatim from the forms. They are not listed in a "Top Ten" order however #1 & #11 vie for my top vote. 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night. 2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks. 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the doorpanels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise. 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me. 8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue. 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertized. 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
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Post by raingauge on Dec 10, 2007 15:51:21 GMT 12.75
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes toward Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St Peter himself. However the gates are closed, Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St Peter says "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. I must tell you tho, the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you must pass it before you get in."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, mister St Peter, sir, but nobody told me about no entrance examination. I sure hope the test isn't too hard, life was a big enough test as it was. St. Peter continues, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions."
First, what two days of the week begin with T?
Second, how many seconds are there in a year?
Third, what is Gods first name?
Forrest leaves to think it over. He returns after a while and sees St Peter, who waves him up, and says "Now that you've had a chance to think over the questions, tell me you answers."
Forrest says "Well the first one, which two days of the week start with T, Well, that's today and tomorrow."
The Saints eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you have a point, and I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for the answer. How about the next one?" St Peter asks.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder." replies Forrest. "I thunk and thunk on that one, and I guess the only answer can be twelve." "Twelve" exclaims St Peter, "How did you come up with twelve?"
Forrest, how in Heavens name could you come up with twelve?" Shucks" replies Forrest, "There's gotta be twelve. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
Hold it" says St Peter, "I see where you're going with this, I see your point, though that's not quite what I had in mind, I will have to give you credit for that one also. Let's go to the third and final question.
Can you tell me Gods first name?" "Sure" replies Forrest, "it's Andy" Andy" exclaims a frustrated and exasperated St Peter.
Forrest, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but how in the world did you come up with Gods first name as Andy?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all" replies Forrest. "I learned it from the song"
ANY HE WALKS WITH ME, ANDY HE TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HI OWN
St Peter throws open the Pearly gates "Run, Forrest, Run!"
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Post by brittonfaith on Dec 11, 2007 5:33:47 GMT 12.75
Somebody just had to send me this to remind me that I'm gonna be (ug)40 soon..... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
to all the whiny youngsters out there!!! (this cracked me up...and it is SO true!)
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways.yadda, yadda, yadda!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ's usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually h ad to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE.
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel;and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.
Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire..... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1975!
Oh yeah, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.
Regards,
The over 40 Crowd
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Post by ET on Dec 11, 2007 10:49:14 GMT 12.75
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 20 years of age cannot do it
1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat. 5. This is keep cat. 6. This is a cat. 7. This is dumb cat. 8 This is ass cat. 9. This is busy cat. 10. This is for cat. 11. This is forty cat. 12. This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down...
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Post by Mars on Dec 11, 2007 14:53:46 GMT 12.75
HA! I did did it in 10 seconds so I must be a smart a$$! ;D
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Post by Paws on Dec 12, 2007 3:57:58 GMT 12.75
MMMMM Hmmmmmmm; Mars knows pussy!
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Post by Mars on Dec 12, 2007 10:43:28 GMT 12.75
yep,10 seconds at a time.
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Post by ET on Dec 13, 2007 13:32:41 GMT 12.75
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. One day on her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78, and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
;D ;D ;D
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "Because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the Boss.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...
The asshole is usually in charge !
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by gsoflittledove on Dec 13, 2007 16:21:55 GMT 12.75
Bear Hunting
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I had heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know shit about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?
;D ;D
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Post by Paws on Jan 15, 2008 4:50:16 GMT 12.75
A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with one of their old university professors. Conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee. When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering. 'You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems.' He continued, 'Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!' The happiest people don't have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. And remember- the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. See; You can't beat that!
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Post by Paws on Jan 15, 2008 4:54:30 GMT 12.75
The Sensitive Man A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking,"Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well,how was it?" The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf" [glow=red,2,300] You can't beat that either![/glow]
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Post by The late Anthony Santamarina on Jan 15, 2008 9:22:30 GMT 12.75
BECOMING A MAN - TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an MA degree. (Male Arts) Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR Autumn Schedule: MEN 101: Combating Stupidity MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under Things for Christmas Winter Schedule: MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II ECON 001A: What’s Hers is Hers Spring Schedule: MEN 120: How NOT to Act like an arse when you’re Wrong MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
SECOND YEAR Autumn Schedule: SE#X 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It SE#X 102: Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower SE#X 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex MEN 201: How To Put the Toilet Seat Down (Elective) (See Electives Below) Winter Schedule: MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver MEN 213: Honest, You Don’t Look Like Brad Pitt MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important Spring Schedule: MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only) MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II Course Electives: EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening MEN 233: Just Say “Yes, Dear” ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her Just a thought for all the women out there. 1 MENtal Illness 2 MENstrual cramps 3 MENtal breakdown 4 MENopause 5 GUYnocologist (poetic spelling) Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men? Send this to all women you know (and men with a sense of humour) and brighten up their day!!…. and when we have real trouble, it’s a HISterectomy
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Post by The late Anthony Santamarina on Jan 17, 2008 6:03:28 GMT 12.75
The Saskatchewan Cow
The only cow in a small town in Alberta, Canada, stopped giving milk. The people did some research & found they could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They bought the cow from Saskatchewan & the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, & the people were pleased & very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow & produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull & put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull & he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset & decided to ask the local Veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told the vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side & she walks away to the other side."
The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute & asks, "Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Saskatchewan?"
The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Saskatchewan."
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